The Crack of My Ass

So I think Canada is cool eh? Wrong, I'm moving to Somalia to become a pirate!

Here's my story...

So last term we made this dude with a little bit of grey hair become our priminister. But the ladies weren't digging the little greys, so he only won a minority government. Now this term, he dyed the little greys and got rid of them for the elections, gaining a little bit more support with the ladies and winning a bigger minority government (if that makes any sense).

Steven Harper, you are a pimp!

Now the other three much more grey haired opposition party leaders are saying "Hey, we're jealous of your dye job". So now they're obviously angry and lonely without any sexy ladies, have ganged up to make a coaltion, and want to remove the current dye job pimp from government!

Did I mention that one of the parties involved in the colation of the three greys is a seperatist party? Yes, so they invited a seperatist party to support them in their efforts to build Canada. Hmmm....

So the seperatist grey haired guy wants the province of Quebec to seperate from the rest of Canada. But that's cool, cause we don't need his grey hair anyways! Except that I live in Quebec and will bring down their economy with my hunger for poutine...

Ok, so I summed up Canadian politics but here's where it gets better. If you have a large country and you rip out a big piece of land in the middle of it, there's a crack in the country. The country ends up being seperated in two, much like an ass crack seperates two ass cheeks. So what the hell is Canada supposed to look like on a color coded map of the world if it's got a crack in the middle? It's going to look like an ass! Depending on the map and the color codes used, we're going to get pink ass, green ass, orange ass, red ass, blue ass, purple ass, and all sorts of ass!

Then they wonder why a lot of gay couples come to Canada to get married. If the country is shaped like a multi-colored ass....well....then...

*Arnold Schwarzenegger growl*